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Crap flatmates

 
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Perdita



Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 582

PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 10:09 pm    Post subject: Crap flatmates Reply with quote

charlottewallis says she is about to move away from her crappy flatmate and I am ten shades of nosy about it, because there is something about a good crazy flatmate story that I just love.

Mine is mostly about the nasty nasty girls I used to live with, Iris and Claudia, in Chelsea who were just complete and utter snobs. One was a miserable, incredibly rude fashion twig whose ugly little neglected pedigree dog regularly shat in my room/all over the flat; the other was a clean freak who would shout at me for not cleaning the top of the fridge (like *anyone does that*) or actually giving me *lessons* in cleaning the toilet.

alison can vouch for me, she has been personally cleaned up after mid-coffee-cup by Claudia.

Ugh.

Your stories, please!
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alison



Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 6694
Location: London

PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 10:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, she was a mental cow.

I don't have a flatmate, just a man. I regularly wail 'I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO LIVE WITH A BOY, WHY COULDN'T I HAVE BEEN A LESBIAN?' at him. I'm just the best girlfriend ever!!1!!
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She's In Parties



Joined: 02 Aug 2007
Posts: 781
Location: UK

PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've never had a crazy flatmate but almost everybody else I know has had at least one.

The worst I think is one my friend had when she first moved to Brighton. None of them managed to get a place in student accommodation because there wasn't enough room so she had to travel down to meet other people at the uni and find a house together before term started. She ended up meeting four girls and they found a five bedroom house. They advertised the spare room on the university website and sure enough some girl replied. She just so happened to be the crazy southern equivalent of a raging chav.

Firstly she requested a lock on the bedroom door because she drew straws for the biggest room and was scared someone would take it when she was out. This meant she stayed in the room 24/7 whilst the other girls all sat downstairs and chatted. This eventually led to her dropping out of uni and moving home yet still keeping the room for when she went on 'nights out in town' and needed somewhere to stay.

Eventually the girls living there got tired of her popping in unexpectedly whenever she fancied even though she hadn't lived there for months and the girl with the tiniest room decided to move into the big one. However crazy girl returned one day saying she needed to 'pick up her stuff' (which had been gone for months) whilst the other girl was in the shower. She then proceeded to lock herself and her mother in the room for six hours until everyone else came home leaving the other girl outside, sopping wet in a towel whilst she and her mother rifled through all her stuff.

They got her out eventually and on a separate note she now has a child.... Confused
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cocteau



Joined: 06 Jul 2007
Posts: 1433
Location: London

PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm still in the process of taking my last flatmate to court because he owes me 2 grand.

One of my current housemates likes to leave little notes for us everywhere. Like "GUYS, LEARN TO AIM" on top of the toilet (not written on paper and left there, actually written ON the toilet) and segregating her cutlery from ours with a note: "SORRY GUYS BUT IF YOU WANT TO USE IT BE PREPARED TO CLEAN IT". I would tolerate her passive aggressive behaviour if she ever paid her rent on time.
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atlas
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 11:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

do wives count as flatmates? if so i have some stories about my nutter ex "flatmate"... Evil or Very Mad
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alison



Joined: 10 Dec 2006
Posts: 6694
Location: London

PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 11:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of my old flatmates used to take my fruit bowl, empty it out and use it to catch the leaks from our toilet's u-bend. After doing it more than once despite my protests, I retaliated by locking my bedroom door and setting my beepy alarm to go off at 7am for the whole two weeks I was away during my uni's easter break. Motherfucker got the message about poo drips in my belongings after that.
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Zinamarina



Joined: 22 Aug 2007
Posts: 1593
Location: London

PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In my last shared student house (arranged by the uni, so had no choice in the matter of who I lived with, argh) one guy was totally nocturnal and only came out at two in the morning to cook enormous slabs of meat (smelled yummy, but at 2 AM?)

Another used to cook huge amounts of food and (a) never wash up, (b) use MY FRICKING THINGS and then not wash up, and most bizarrely of all (c) leave large bowls/plates full of food that should definitely have been either in the fridge or eaten straight away (such as large batches of sweet and sour chicken, or plates of bread and jam) in cupboards for days on end. He also had a mouldy rice cooker half full of rice at all times which was never emptied and never saw a scrubbing brush the entire year I lived there. I LOVE food and cooking, so these weirdnesses in my kitchen made me very sad indeed (as did having to hoard all my knives/plates etc in my bedroom like some sort of weirdo because I couldn't stand them never being clean when I went to use them). I am now soooo happy to have my own kitchen - who wants to come for dinner? Cool
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charlottewallis
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 9:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Crap flatmates Reply with quote

Perdita wrote:
whose ugly little neglected pedigree dog regularly shat in my room/all over the flat

Jesus
cocteau wrote:
I'm still in the process of taking my last flatmate to court because he owes me 2 grand.

JESUS! Sad

I love reading these stories. Especially as my house mate is also and ex-housemate as of today. Many of you have fared alot worse than me, it seems. Although I did receive this rascist gem today, "you and your Spanish boyfriend, who needs the heating on to remind him of home". And the slightly stalker-ish, "I have your details and your car reg". Can't quite see how she thinks that'll be useful to her, but whatever.
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Zinamarina



Joined: 22 Aug 2007
Posts: 1593
Location: London

PostPosted: Tue Apr 12, 2011 10:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yikes. Save your texts and watch your back, she sounds a bit loopy Confused
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charlottewallis
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know! Hopefully that's the end of it but texts are saved just in case.
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preraphaeliteangel



Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Posts: 242
Location: Yorkshire

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I once shared a house with five other girls, in the days before mobile phones, so we only had one landline. One girl used to monopolise this and yak on it constantly and everybody else hardly got a look in. Once I managed to make a call and she interrupted me while I was talking to ask how long I was going to be as she wanted to use the phone. I still remember how cross I was 25 years later, which must make me a very sad person indeed.
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kali_alejandra



Joined: 14 Oct 2008
Posts: 198
Location: vancouver/chile/argentina/cuba

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

waaaaaaaaay back in the day i had a roommate named dave.
dave was a straight edge kid... well we used to party alot and when he moved in he slowly got into partying... thats when we realized he was wierd... like start crying ( yes i mean tears) when we asked him to start helping out with doing the dishes one time after a party we had and then everytime he was asked to do dishes...trying to break bottles on his head...coming home to him wearing my other roommates underwear and eating a loaf of bread ( while hugging the bag it came in) like it was cotton candy... if that wasnt wierd enough... then he decided he wanted to be like gg allin and shoved a corn cob up
needless to say i moved out. like that night.
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atlas
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 10:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zinamarina wrote:
who wants to come for dinner? Cool


looks like "welcome spring" Avenue-b london drinks/dinner are at zina's place. FYI, I like my steak rare and my daquaris strong.
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Perdita



Joined: 21 Dec 2006
Posts: 582

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 11:45 am    Post subject: Re: Crap flatmates Reply with quote

charlottewallis wrote:
Perdita wrote:
whose ugly little neglected pedigree dog regularly shat in my room/all over the flat

Jesus


What continues to confuse me is how Claudia the clean freak used to go nuts at me for leaving a coffee spoon in the sink, and keep up a constant monologue about how British people are unhygienic; but when I finally confronted Iris about her dog shit everywhere, did Claudia have my back? No she did not.
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Perdita



Joined: 21 Dec 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 11:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

charlottewallis wrote:
I know! Hopefully that's the end of it but texts are saved just in case.

Glad you did... hope all is good with that. Really sounds a bit freaky.
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charlottewallis
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 3:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Perdita wrote:
What continues to confuse me is how Claudia the clean freak used to go nuts at me for leaving a coffee spoon in the sink, and keep up a constant monologue about how British people are unhygienic; but when I finally confronted Iris about her dog shit everywhere, did Claudia have my back? No she did not.


Makes no sense whatsoever. Genuinely mental and unjustified!

Perdita wrote:

Glad you did... hope all is good with that. Really sounds a bit freaky.


She actually sent me an email apologising the other day - fair play Smile
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